What could have been
by Teh Original Cyn
Summary: Hard to believe Shizuma and Miyuki never handled that tension...
1. Chapter 1

Shizuma was a bitch.

And Miyuki hated her.

It was so easy to wallow in an emotion like hate, here on this ominous winter morning, with the snow falling cruel and silent onto the trees that surrounded Astraea. Well, perhaps _hate_ wasn't quite right. But the strong emotion Miyuki was feeling seemed so far removed from love, so it must be hate.

Hanazono Shizuma. Traipsing around the damn school like she owned it, breaking hearts, not even bothering to take names. Miyuki wanted to throw up every time she heard the squeals of the underclassmen that always signaled Shizuma's presence. Wanted to slap every eager shiny flushed face that was upturned at Shizuma's passage. Like people waiting for a blessing from the Virgin Mary.

Some girls didn't have the luxury of picking a lover. Some girls were auctioned off to the highest bidder as a fiancé—like a pig at market.

Miyuki grit her teeth and swore softly, uncharacteristic for her, always ladylike; and crumpled the paper that was in front of her, the paper that she had been trying to read for over an hour. She remembered that sticky sweltering day last summer like it was yesterday…


	2. Chapter 2

Swirling silver hair, hot breath, golden eyes clouded with lust, Shizuma looked down at Miyuki, a careless hand sliding up to cup one side of the dark haired girl's bosom. "You really do have the most luscious body, Miyuki-chan." She murmured, and squeezed.

Miyuki bit back a cry, slapping Shizuma's hand away; face flushed and she spat out, "Baka." She felt a trickle of sweat running down her back, itching as it moistened the cloth of her stiff uniform, and wondered what sort of game Shizuma was trying to play with her.

Shizuma looked surprised. "Why, Miyuki-chan. Such fervent protest. I was under the impression that this is what you'd always wanted."

Miyuki spun around so her back was facing Shizuma, trying to hide her flushed face. She wanted to snap something to the effect of- how did Shizuma know _anything_ about what she wanted, but "Get out." She said instead. She heard a rustle as Shizuma ignored the command and slid up to her back, hooking one long arm around Miyuki's front and toying with the stiff Astoria tie.

"It's so miserably hot, Miyuki-chan. Shall we go take a bath together?" Miyuki gave one shiver then, unable to control it. Shizuma saw the shiver, dipped her head down and brushed Miyuki's ear—just barely—with her lips. "Are you sure that's not what you want?"

Miyuki struggled inwardly over what she _should_ say, and what she _wanted_ to say.

Shizuma took her silence as an invitation, and spun Miyuki around.

Miyuki couldn't even look at her, just trembled slightly, and felt helpless tears threatening to leak out. Always such a damn crybaby.

Shizuma chuckled then, and effortlessly slid Miyuki's tie off, unbuttoning a few dress buttons, an art she'd had plenty of practice at.

Miyuki kept her face turned away and let Shizuma do as she wished. She always did anyways. Shizuma's hand silkily dipped into the front of her dress, grazing perilously close to one nipple.

But without warning, Shizuma's eyes darkened with a haze of domination and lust; she approached Miyuki's lips and kissed her ferociously, hard enough to bruise, it felt. And Miyuki stifled a whimper as the silver haired goddess's hands roamed freely; mouth clamped down heavily, sucking the very life out of Miyuki it felt like.

Only once Shizuma had thoroughly claimed her mouth -for years itfelt- and her milky white hand had unbuttoned even more indecently exposing buttons did Miyuki push her away.

"No. Not like this." Miyuki whispered, turning her head away and shaking it violently. "Not like this."

Shizuma simply shrugged and turned on her heel, leaving Miyuki embarrassingly soaking wet, but also confused and hurt. That night, Miyuki buried her head in a pillow crying bitter tears of rage, and shame.


	3. Chapter 3

After that, Shizuma had never tried anything again, but her eyes still roved hungrily over Miyuki's body when they were in the bath together and during student council meetings. Such libidinous scrutiny made Miyuki stutter and awkwardly shuffle papers around, aware only of Shizuma's beatuy, and the sudden warmth such appraisal transformed her crotch. The silver haired cunt also made a point of doing little flirtatious things, brushing up against Miyuki when they were alone. "Gomen." She always murmured, but her golden eyes held no apology.


	4. Chapter 5

Months later, alone in the student council office, Miyuki smoothed the paper out, and tried to focus her aching eyes on the neat columns of text. Graduation was nearing, and her mother's missives grew both more frequent and more insistent. After graduation, she was most certainly expected to go back to her parent's estate and prepare for an arranged marriage. _How wonderful_, she thought bitterly, _I shall be the perfect virginal bride, everything he ever expected. At least I will be able to leave this place and that dreadful woman._ She closed her eyes and rubbed at the twinging pain between her eyebrows. As much as she cared about Shizuma, as much history as they had together, it still didn't stop her from thinking Shizuma was dreadful. As she opened her eyes, a hot breath came rushing into her left ear.


	5. Chapter 6

"Mi-yu-ki….-chan." Breathed the "dreadful" woman.

Miyuki started, knocking the sheet of paper to the floor.

Shizuma leaned down and gracefully retrieved the letter. Her eyes didn't even stray to the writing, and Miyuki was a little disappointed. She wanted Shizuma to see what lay in store for her after graduation, and be upset, or angry, or show _any_ emotion _at all. _

"Here." Shizuma smoothed the creased piece of paper and offered it to Miyuki. Miyuki accepted it, folded it, and placed it in her desktop drawer. She took a few seconds to collect herself and then turned a cool gaze to the silver haired demon. "Is there some reason for your visit?"

Shizuma blinked and a small smile tugged at one side of her mouth. "You haven't been to any meals in the past two days. I just came to make sure you're all right. Are you now telling me I need a reason to visit my dear Miyuki-chan?" Miyuki was surprised Shizuma had even noticed her absence. "I'm fine." She muttered, setting her forearms on the desk and turning her head away. "Arigato."

Shizuma didn't let it go. "Are you sure?" she gently brushed Miyuki's hand with her fingertips, causing Miyuki to jerk her hand out of Shizuma's reach. "Quite sure." She said, cursing the tremble in her voice. Shizuma was silent for a moment, and then she grasped Miyuki's hand, pressing it to her lips. Miyuki gasped.

"If there's anything I can do." Shizuma mumbled against her skin, "I'd be happy to do it. You know I love my Miyuki-chan. I don't like to think of her sad or lonely." Miyuki snatched her hand away. "I am not _your_ Miyuki-chan. Nor am I anyone else's Miyuki-chan."

"Is that so?" Shizuma inclined her head towards the desk drawer. "I think you are indeed someone's Miyuki-chan. Or will soon be."

Miyuki's eyes narrowed, and a rage overtook her that she had to fight to suppress. So Shizuma had seen the letter. She tried to regain her composure. "Well." She said icily. "You know what my destiny is after I leave here. And he may have me then, but he will never, **ever** possess me."

Shizuma arched an eyebrow. "_Will_ anyone ever posses you or your heart, Miyuki-chan? Or should I say, _has_ anyone?" Her eyes bored into Miyuki. Miyuki averted her eyes away from Shizuma's prying gaze. "No." she said, putting emphasis on that single word to hide the lie on her lips.

Shizuma rose then, saying "A pity then. A pity that no one will enjoy that luscious body with your consent, and a pity that no one will scale your impenetrable walls. You would make someone very happy if you were to ever let them in."

_But not you,_ Miyuki wanted to scream, _never you. I've been by your side this entire time and I will never be good enough, beautiful enough, young and impressionable enough. _

Shizuma's hand was on the doorknob and Miyuki blurted. "Why am I not good enough for you, Shizuma?"

Shizuma turned, shock plainly on her face. "What?"

Miyuki looked down at her white knuckled hands. "Why? Why have you never looked at me twice unless it's to tease me cruelly and yet you chase after those younger gawky girls who have not been by your side even half the time I have? Why do you love them more than me? Why…?" Miyuki trailed off, horrified at the words tumbling out of her mouth.

Shizuma was speechless, and for once in her life the aloof shroud was gone. She looked at Miyuki with a mixture of confusion and hurt. "How can you even say that? You've never…. I've never…" she groped lamely for the right words.

Miyuki was crying quietly now, she hid her face in her hands. "Get out." She said, voice muffled.

Shizuma started towards her, hand outstretched. "Miyuki…" she said, almost pleadingly.

"Get out!" Miyuki did the first impulsive thing she had ever done in her life, picked up a book, and threw it at Shizuma's head. "Get out! I hate you, I never want to see you again!"

Shizuma said no more, just turned on her heel and left.


	6. Chapter 7

Miyuki replayed the events and thought about things both long and hard. She dined alone in her room that night, the ominous contents of her mother's letter stripping her of any appetite. She shakily set her teacup down onto her saucer, and it rattled in time with the tremors in her hand. _Shizuma. Oh God, Shizuma._ Somberly, she stood and began getting ready for bed. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so harsh with Shizuma. After all, how was her friend to know about the feelings Miyuki held for her? Miyuki had never indicated that she was interested, and treated Shizuma coolly, stifling Shizuma's flirting. And after Kaori, she felt almost wrong about saying anything to Shizuma, it would have been a betrayal to someone who she held dear, though now dead. Wearily, she buttoned the top of her pajamas. Shizuma was a broken girl now, and the last thing she needed was her only friend to spurn her. Miyuki felt regret for her earlier actions, and thought maybe she should go apologize to her friend. She had barely even processed these thoughts when a gentle knock from the other side startled her. She jumped back from the door. "Yes?" she called, trying to calm her beating heart.

"Miyuki-chan," came Shizuma's voice, low and insistent, "Can I come in?"

Miyuki blinked, and then "Yes." She said.

Shizuma entered quietly, looking lost and sad. Her pajamas matched Miyuki's almost perfectly. The two girls stared at each other for a moment, and then:

"I'm sorry-"

"Forgive me, Shizuma-"

They spoke at the same time, and then stopped and chuckled nervously. There was a pause and then Shizuma closed the distance between her and Miyuki and grabbed Miyuki's hands. "Miyuki-chan…" she burst out "I am sorry about this afternoon, I am selfish and unfeeling and should not have said things so bluntly. Forgive me, please…." She trailed off. "And…"

Aghast at Shizuma being so earnest and vulnerable, Miyuki interrupted, "No, Shizuma. It should be I apologizing. I am just under so much duress right now, with my mother's letter... I suppose it's just now finally getting through to me what is expected of me in just a few short months."

Shizuma still clasped Miyuki's hands, squeezing so hard it almost hurt. "No. Miyuki. I am sorry for…" once again she trailed off.

Miyuki raised her eyebrows. She had never seen Shizuma so sincere, much less apologetic, much less admitting her selfishness.

Shizuma dropped Miyuki's hands and stepped back. "I am sorry," she said in a low voice, "that I didn't think of your feelings all those times when I flirted with you. I never knew… And suddenly I was sitting there this afternoon at tea time, and it dawned on me why your outburst was so fierce. And then I recalled that day last summer and what a beast I was… I only ever did those things because you just seemed so cold, like no one could move you. And I suppose I saw it as a challenge, to get you to feel _something_."

Miyuki blushed. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Shizuma looked down. "How long?" she asked quietly.

Miyuki grimaced. "Forever, Shizuma. Always. At least, ever since we roomed together and you called me a crybaby."

"Oh." For once, Shizuma was speechless. "But why didn't you-"

"Because!" Miyuki burst out, "Because I was scared and then you and Kaori found each other. And then it was too late."

"No." Shizuma had a fierce look in her eyes. "It's never too late. It would never…. I…."

"It doesn't matter now. " Miyuki said bitterly, rubbing her neck and averting her eyes, "I am betrothed. Whatever would have…could have…."

She was silenced by Shizuma's lips crashing down on hers. Her eyes widened and she pushed Shizuma away. "I'm betrothed." She stated again, closing her arms around herself.

"Miyuki." Shizuma's voice came out strangled. "Please. Do you have any idea how much I dread graduation for your sake? Do you have any idea how terrible I feel about you being forced into this _omoi_? Do you have any idea how much I want to show you love before you are? Do you have any idea…."

Miyuki looked down, shaking her head. "No," she said, but it was feeble. She _wanted_ Shizuma to show her love. At least one time, before the dismal arranged marriage ruined everything, took her life away from her.

Shizuma waited.

Slowly, Miyuki looked back up, tears streaming down her face and nodded, almost imperceptibly.

Shizuma sighed then, almost a sob, and reached for the light switch. "Miyuki. My Miyuki-chan."

"Just this one night." Miyuki whispered, swiping at her tears. "Just for tonight, Shizuma, you may show me love… I mean… that is… _please_ show me love."

By the time Shizuma's lips covered hers again, Miyuki didn't care any more whether it was right or wrong. It just was.


	7. Chapter 8

"Now." Murmured Shizuma "Tonight you're mine, Miyuki-chan. Not his, not your parents', not anyone else's but _mine_." She accented this with a gentle squeeze to Miyuki's posterior. "And I don't have to just _show_ you love, because I _do_ love you. You are my everything, my only friend."

Miyuki gasped at the contact on her rear and backed up, but Shizuma was right there, guiding her towards the bed. She lay Miyuki down almost reverently, and planted another kiss on her. Miyuki gasped again then, at the sweet heat of their tongues colliding. It almost brought tears to her eyes at the impossible beauty of Shizuma's hands roaming over her chest. Shizuma drew back from their kiss, about to say something...

"No." Miyuki said, "No words. Just love."

Shizuma complied, stripping Miyuki slowly and carefully, lifting her hips up as she slid the pajama pants off, and then removing her own far more speedily, almost popping buttons. Miyuki stared unabashedly at Shizuma's almost naked body. She had seen it before, but never in this capacity, never when it was nakedness _for her,_ that was going to be shared _with her_. Shizuma stayed silent as she lowered her naked body onto Miyuki's, and her crotch came to rest on Miyuki's thigh. Wonderingly, Miyuki noticed that Shizuma's panties were already soaked, and her own crotch contracted in sympathy, causing a violent heat to crawl over her face at her body's base betrayal. How crass.

Shizuma pushed Miyuki's short hair out of her face and looked at her tenderly before kissing her again, nibbling gently at Miyuki's lower lip. Her hands moved firmly up and down Miyuki's ribcage, thumbs barely brushing the sides of her breasts. Miyuki gasped again, then mustered up courage and ran her hands down Shizuma's glorious expanse of creamy white back. Shizuma shivered and entwined her fingers into Miyuki's hair, kissing her harder and lustfully grinding her crotch into the thigh that was between them. Miyuki was taken aback at this gesture of wanton need, especially because she could feel Shizuma's panties getting wetter by the second. She blushed, thankful for the darkness that hid her modesty. Shizuma pulled out of the kiss, and straddled Miyuki's body. She looked at Miyuki's breasts, ran her hands over them and made an approving noise, not speaking. Miyuki's blush grew hotter and she tentatively stretched her hands up to cup Shizuma's breasts in return. She had to stifle the groan that came at the feel of the heavy softness in her hands. Shizuma flashed a smile, the moonlight gleaming off her teeth, making her look almost wolfish and grasped Miyuki's hands, encouraging her to squeeze more firmly. Miyuki obliged, uncomfortably avoiding the nipples. Shizuma seemed to sense Miyuki's reticence and let out a chuckle dipping her head to kiss Miyuki's neck. Miyuki's back arched at the deft ministrations to her neck. Shizuma sensed this and gently moved up to suck Miyuki's earlobe. Miyuki moaned and her toes curled. _So good…_ This earned another chuckle from Shizuma and she swiftly moved down to Miyuki's chest. Miyuki tensed at the new feeling of someone kissing the breasts that were usually covered by the stiff Miator uniform, and before she had time to protest Shizuma's lips had closed around one nipple. Shizuma sucked very lightly and flicked it with her tongue, and Miyuki knew her underwear were now most definitely as wet as Shizuma's. She would have been embarrassed at this revelation, but the lips and teeth and tongue around her nipple felt just…too good. Emboldened by lust Miyuki clenched a handful of silver hair and squirmed, tightening her thigh into Shizuma's crotch. Shizuma let out a rumble of pleasure and let go of Miyuki's nipple with an audible pop before moving on to the other one. Miyuki stifled another groan and scraped her nails down Shizuma's back. Shizuma seemed to enjoy this immensely, her wetness was now leaking out of her underwear in a warm slickness onto Miyuki's thigh. Miyuki was shocked, is this how it always was between girls?

Trying to quell her shock and soldier on she nudged Shizuma away from her breast. Shizuma's eyes shone in the moonlight, and Miyuki smiled into them before tugging at Shizuma's underwear. Shizuma flopped back on the bed and let Miyuki remove them, seeming almost embarrassed at the fact that they were soaked. _Well at least she has the decency to be a little coy _Miyuki thought wryly. She stared then, at Shizuma's womanhood. _Huh_. The hair…. There…. Was the same color as the hair on her head. She didn't have much time to contemplate this before Shizuma gestured with her chin at the fact that Miyuki still had her underwear on. She reached out one finger and hooked it into the waistband. The she cleared her throat and asked huskily, "May I? I know, no words, but I will feel terrible if you do not accept me willingly." Miyuki flushed again, and nodded, looking away, "I accept you." She said. Shizuma smiled then, and ran one finger down over the thin damp fabric, causing Miyuki to flinch. "You give me everything?" she questioned, softly.

"Yes." Miyuki barely whispered. "Everything."

Shizuma cupped her hand over Miyuki's entire crotch and looked into Miyuki's eyes, smiling, most likely at the fact that she could now feel the effect she was having on Miyuki.

Then in one gentle tug, Miyuki was naked before her friend. Shizuma looked at her fully, the glance filled with as much approval as the one she had given Miyuki's breasts.


End file.
